media diary: august '23

 

Media Diary:

August 2023

Books:

• Man and His Symbols by Carl G. Jung*
• The Butcher Boy by Patrick McCabe
• The Grass Arena by John Healy
• First Love and Other Novellas by Samuel Beckett
• Northanger Abbey by Jane Austen
• Persuasion by Jane Austen
• The End of the Alphabet by Claudia Rankine
• Girldom by Megan Peak
• Women in Love by D.H. Lawrence*
• Citizen by Claudia Rankine
• The Outsiders by S.E. Hinton*

Poems:

• "Idee Fixe" by Catherine Barnett
• "The Mower" by Philip Larkin
• "MOUNTAIN DEW COMMERCIAL DISGUISED AS A LOVE POEM" by Matthew Olzmann
  
• "You Don't Know What Love Is" by Bill Zavatsky
• "August" by Alex Dimitrov
• "Making Peace" by Denise Levertov
• "Identification" by Wislawa Szymborska
• "Slow Dance" by Matthew Dickman
• "ODE TO ELLIOTT SMITH, ENDING IN THE FIRST SNOWFALL OF 2003" by Hanif Willis-Abdurraqib
• "Trying to Raise the Dead" by Dorianne Laux
• Victoria Punch's translation of Ovid's "Beach Body"
• Excerpts from Amy Woolard's "IF BY YOU YOU MEAN WE"
• "What Resembles the Grave But Isn't" by Anne Boyer
• "Nothing Wants to Suffer" by Danusha Lameris

Albums/Playlists:

Here's the link to my August tunes.

Lois, DILLY DALLY, Hospital Bracelet, Scamps, Dogs on Shady Lane, Foreign Homes, Lowertown, Where's Jai, Farmer's Wife, Maiah Manser, The Temper Trap, Chanel Beads, Baby Lemonade, Can't Swim, thanks for coming, Parrotfish, Didirri, Leland Blue, and Feeling Blew are featured.

At this point, just assume that Turnover's Peripheral Vision is on this list. It's a staple album. It's so good. I will never stop loving that album.

• DAMN. by Kendrick Lamar
• Deja Entendu by Brand New
• you'll be fine by Hot Mulligan
• I Won't Reach Out to You by Hot Mulligan
• Youth by Citizen
• Feel Something by Movements
• I'm Wide Awake, It's Morning by Bright Eyes
• French Bath by May Rio
• Le Mystere Des Voix Bulgares by the Bulgarian State Television Female Choir
• Today We're the Greatest by Middle Kids
• Bootleg Firecracker by Middle Kids
• Our Endless Numbered Days by Iron & Wine
• Driving Just to Drive by Matt Maltese
• Crisis Actor by Roselit Bone
• Is This It by The Strokes
• Remain in Light (Deluxe Version) by Talking Heads
• Cell by Sad Cell
• Banshee by NewDad
• So You're Mad About the Cups by Sarah and the Sundays
• The Nashville Sound by Jason Isbell and the 400 Unit

Movies and TV Shows:

Okay, okay. Hear me out. I love critiquing sh*tty reality tv like Love Island and Below Deck. It brings me such joy to consume media both ironically and unironically. I like dropping LI slang in conversations with friends, and I love the dystopian weirdness of BD. Reality TV essay collection coming soon? I think so!

Anyway, I have a penchant for the saddest, most gut-wrenching movies. I was talking to my therapist and had this realization for the 1000th time, which is that sadness is comforting to me. I consume devastating media (books, poetry, movies, music) because I feel most at home when I am melancholic/crying/in pieces. 

• Normal People tv series (2020) Was anyone going to tell me that I'm Marianne, or was I supposed to find that out on my own, years after reading the book?
• Barbie (2023)
• Oppenheimer (2023)
• Love Island UK tv series (2023)
• Below Deck: Mediterranean tv series
• Elegy (2008)
• Broken (2013)
• The Worst Person in the World (2021)

Essays, Art, Obsessions & Digital Things:

• Illuminated manuscript artwork. TBH, I've always been nerdy about this, but it's flooding my Pinterest right now.

• On a similar vein, sacred heart artwork.

• Neko Atsume. The cat cafe game circa 2016-2017. I redownloaded it after talking to my friend about her obsession with the Property Brothers game. There's something comforting about having a low-stakes game downloaded to your phone: it's peaceful and weird and fun. Games make me feel like I'm 8 years old & on my GameBoy & sitting in the backseat of my mom's car on the drive home from the community swimming pool. Too specific? 

• Afro Beats/Caribbean fem/dancehall class. I try to go every week. It's so empowering watching my body do its thing! I love, love, love dancing. My instructor's a gem, and she always teaches us the history of different moves/shares the name of the creator. 

• Hedonic treadmills.

• Cassandra complex.

• The difference between emotions and moods; logging both of them. My therapist recently read me to filth because I don't actually do any emotional work outside of sessions, so I started using this platform called SilverCloud in an effort to stop avoiding my feelings.

• Radical acceptance. 

• Dreams, dream interpretation. Jungcore.

• Tinned fish. Mostly sardines. I have no explanation for this. I eat them with cheese and crackers like some kind of impoverished mouse.

• $3 mystery LPs from Dyno Records. Tchaikovsky, Neil Diamond, Hits of the 60s, and some piano instrumentals. What an odd bargain. I'm massively into vinyl and have been since I was 13...Something about collecting weird little records brings me such joy. 

• Personal statements. Hi, please let me into ur program. I luv 2 write.

• "The Austen Cave", aka my bedroom. I am trying to leave it because sometimes I turn so inward through reading/writing/editing that I turn inside out and get lost in my own brain. 

• Putting ice on my face. I started taking ice cubes from my freezer and icing my face in the morning/before bed. It's supposed to activate your diver reflex/trick your brain out of anxiety fog/de-puff your eyes. The shock of the cold puts my thoughts on buffer mode for a while, which is kind of nice.